08/03/2008 by Paul.

Each day I commute to work by taking the train to London, and then walking from Waterloo station to where I work in the City, which is quite close to St. Paul’s cathedral.  The walk takes around 25 minutes and I often find this a good time to pray. 

A few weeks ago, as I was walking to work on a cold frosty morning feeling quite chilly, I started to wonder if it was cold in Heaven.  So I found my self saying a quick prayer: “Jesus are you cold?”

I felt that I had an answer to my prayer almost instantly and I smiled to myself, since the answer brought to my mind the spiritual journey I have been on since childhood.

When I was growing up, God always seemed to be quite scary and I imagined God sitting up in Heaven looking down with disapproval at everything I did.  This was reinforced by a rather scary Irish priest who left me in no doubt that the road to Heaven was narrow and someone like me would be really lucky to find it.

St Teresa talks about your soul being an inner room within you; I had the door locked and bolted and would perhaps peek out through the letter box to see God, but there was no chance of letting God come in since he was bound to punish a sinner like me.

I fought with this scary image of God for many years and eventually came to understand that God became man.  Jesus the great King came to earth for our salvation and didn’t stay up in Heaven looking down - what great news!

But why would a King want to come to see someone like me?  The door remained locked; my inner room was a messy place with dishes in the sink, washing in the corner, junk everywhere and in need of a good clean.  This was no place for a King.

Over time I began to understand that by our baptism we are all part of God’s royal family, it is true that Jesus is a King but we are also royalty and it then made sense that Jesus would want to come and see someone who was part of his family. 

Perhaps now I could dare open the door and let Jesus in, but I could only possibly see myself as part of the extended royal family and I was nowhere in line for the throne.  Jesus was a very special guest, he could not be allowed to see the mess; the unwashed dishes would need to be hidden under the sink, the washing and all the junk pushed into the side room and the door squeezed closed under the pressure of the rubbish inside.   After this, perhaps Jesus could come in for tea and cake and we could talk about nice things.

It was all well and good talking to my “aristocratic” Jesus but there was something missing, and I began to realize that Jesus was not upper class; after all, he had been born in a stable.  Jesus didn’t want a `tea and cake conversation’, he surprisingly wanted to be my friend, and not only that, he demanded to be my best friend.

This took a long time to accept, but the thing about a best friend visiting is that you don’t need to hide the clutter.  You show them the pile of dishes and explain that you haven’t had time to do them, then one of you washes and the other wipes.  They help you clean up the mess, open up the curtains and vacuum the floor.   Jesus the best friend is a most welcome guest!

The answer to my prayer “Jesus, are you cold?” was a simple “of course”.   Jesus was not up in Heaven looking down; he was not even walking at my side, Jesus was living within me!  Jesus is so close to us that he sees the world through our eyes; he touches the world with our hands, and he feels the temperature with our body.

What a challenge!  How can we dare to say an unkind word when Jesus is listening to it with our ears or how can we refuse to help another when Jesus wants to use our hands.  If we let him, Jesus would like to speak words through our mouth to console others and we should also be mindful that when we listen to others, that perhaps it is the Jesus in them who is speaking to us.

God be in my head, and in my understanding;

God be in mine eyes, and in my looking;

God be in my mouth, and in my speaking;

God be in my heart, and in my thinking;

God be at mine end, and at my departing.

Sarum Primer, 1558

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21/02/2008 by Paul.

Well I finally decided that I should create my first blog….now if only I could think of something to write about!

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